Not What They Expect

I’ve always been a round peg in a square hole. My whole life I’ve never quite fit in. I can pinpoint four reasons, not in any particular order:

I have an affinity for embroidery that suggest I should have lived before my time. Or in at least been born in Istanbul!

• We had very unique parents with a very specific point of view.

• We really didn’t watch tv, mostly news shows, cooking show, and documentaries; pop culture was kind of lost on us.

• We were raised in New England and the family moved to New Jersey, my dad’s birthplace. I was just turning 13. New Jersey, especially Southern Jersey, is it’s own kind of place.

• We were raised to appreciate all types of music, read ferociously, and appreciate people for they are, not how they looked.

Fast forward to last month…

I was on Facebook with some colleagues. This particular group was diverse but I would say at least 70% black, residing in and South of Maryland. The subject was missing live music events and the woman leading this conversation asked, “What is the best concert you’ve ever been to?” Right away I was excited because live music is literally my jam! I’m an avid concert goer and believe nothing beats a live music event with real musical artists. Then I paused. And I looked at the other comments first. Why? Because remember, round peg square hole. Because remember the above demographic statistic on this particular Facebook group.

I can be a very colorful round peg!

As I looked at previous comments I saw:

• Anita Baker

• Luther Vandross

• Prince

• Michael Jackson

• Beyonce

• Alicia Keys

• Among others of similar genres of R&B and R&B/pop cross over.

What are my favorite concerts?

• Weezer

• Prince

• Cold Play

• John Mayer (When he doesn’t talk and just plays the guitar he’s amazing)

• 311

• The Lumineers

• AWOL Nation

• Barbra Streisand

You get my problem? No? Well I may look like I should able to relate to a 70% black female conversation, but, nope, doesn’t happen. What does happen is radio silence and stares. Then comments.

However, I found that I am not the only nerd, post punk, artist, classical music loving, strange clothes wearing black girl. There’s a few of us around. Hard to find, but we’re there. You see us in mosh pits, in Barnes and Nobles, at summer festivals, hiking in state parks, strolling through art galleries, and backpacking around Europe. And that’s why being an entrepreneur has never been a question.

Shorts, hose, and docs… my uniform.

I never fit in so I have always had to make my own way. And now that I’m older, and the world is getting smaller, I meet so many young women who are the same. They feel like they don’t fit in the box that is expected of them. They don’t feel like they fit in any box. And that’s okay. The Boutique by CCPCL and Cici Pagán Creative Living llc in general is really about being seen in a different light. It’s about not just seeing that someone is a round peg and trying to force them into the square hole. It’s about seeing the beauty of being a round peg. It’s about looking for another space to occupy instead of just the square hole. And sometimes it’s seeing that round or square, we’re both shapes that can’t be lived without. Too much of the shape metaphor’s?

The Boutique is about seeing that even when at first glance someone seems to not fit the mold you had in mind that you can look closer. My style may not be your style and may seem completely foreign to you. However, if you look closely you will find elements that we share - hand painted wearable art, small classic jewelry, large statement pieces, multifunctional clothing. My hope is that regardless of what your style, background, or view, you’ll be able to see a piece of yourself in me, and see we are all the same just put together a little differently.

My affinity for Birkenstock’s is well documented.

Try - Good Flare by Good American

Whether you love or hate the Kardashians you have to admit they know a thing or two. One of which is how to make the body look better in clothes. So when Khloe started a clothing line starting with jeans, I was here for it.

I didn’t take the leap immediately because I had sizing questions and for some reason the reviews never really cleared them up. I’m all about a flare or bell bottom right now so when I saw Tori Spelling modeling the Good Flare it caught my attention. Then when I saw them on sale at Nordstrom I was excited because Nordstrom reviewers are pretty thorough. Sure enough, these reviews were ones that gave me a better idea of the fit. I read they were stretchy and ran big and no one seemed to be complaining about the high waist. Sometimes high waisted jeans are shaped for long torsos and not for the fuller figure. There is definitely a difference when try them on. The high waist created for long torsos end up with crotch sagging on short waists; whereas high waist to fit and flatter curves stays in place and provides shaping. The sizing for this style was just regular numerical, so I felt like I had a handle on the fit. Based on the size chart and the last time I measured, I’m was 18. For reference I’m currently a perfect 16 in Michael Kors jeans, and am also currently wearing some express jeans in an 18. In Eloquii I’m a size 14 jean. I ordered a 16 in the Good American Good Flare. They are roomy for sure but because they are flare style I don’t mind them a little big for a more vintage, casual style. For a more contemporary look I’d size down one more and do the 14.

I hope my review is more informative for you than some of these others out there!

Lessons From Vacation Packing

Our family vaca plans were cancelled due to Covid-19. Though we’ve rescheduled, at this time our reschedule date isn’t even guaranteed. So it’s time to unpack.

We all have some variation of this carry on backpack. I chose this Cabin Zero because of the roomy interior with room for custom cubes.

To make the best of this moment I thought I’d post one of my surprise finds. To set the stage let me start by saying I don’t think of myself as well traveled, though I’ve been a few places on and off the continent. I used to be the girl with enough luggage for 10 handlers. Shoes for every day, and spare outfits in case I changed my mood. Since I hit my forty’s I’ve found myself so much more into the experience of travel and being in the moment. So much so that I really give little attention to what I’m wearing and had found myself with way too much baggage. Literally. So when I started planning this trip I thought I’d put the effort into the perfect packing experience. I thought I would teach my daughter and my niece, who are traveling with us, to learn the ultimate packing lesson while they are still young travelers. So when I scoured the internet for this trip looking for packing suggestions I was pleasantly surprised to find there is no shortage of packing gurus across all social media platforms! The result? I found the perfect travel backpacks that are the size of carry ons and the plan was for everyone to bring one and done! I even found a laundromat near where we are staying in the first country and planned for us to hit it before we switched destinations so we can essentially only travel with one week of clothes instead of two!

The other benefits of packing light in Europe?

1. European elevators can be small if the place you’re at has them at all.

2. European stairwells can be steep and extremely narrow.

3. Depending on your itinerary, you could be walking some ways, or lugging all your luggage on a train.

4. And, as someone who loves the travel-like-a-local experience, this matters to me; there is no huge “American Tourist” sign as big as strolling through the streets with enough luggage to hunker down for a decade!

So what happened when I presented my packing euphoria to the group? They were not on board! At all! It was a coup! No one was on board with me. So I had to compromise. In the end we are each taking a moderately sized check in. So we will each have a carry on back pack, and be rolling only one piece of luggage. The baby even has his little pieces! So yes, we will still look like visitors but hopefully we can appear to be from anywhere (of course until we open our mouths)!

Curve Appeal Compression jeggings

Photo copyright Nordstrom Rack

So what sparked the post is that I found a pair of amazing red, compression jeggings, which is not the first thing you think of packing for Europe. My plan was to be a bit more refined than usual so I can be camera ready and not so typical. Red jeggings didn’t fit into that idea, or so I thought. I ordered these because the words “compression jeggings” interested me, not to wear on the trip. I was so surprised at how amazing they are that I wanted to include them in my vaca wear. They fit perfectly, make my butt look great, and are so comfy! So I went to work on trying to get 3 looks - the criteria to make it into my luggage.

With one carry on back pack, and one check in bag, I have to maximize my outfits for 2 weeks with room to bring back more than we’re leaving with. So here are the looks I created.

Red compression jeggings from Curve Appeal with:

1. Sage, stripped, layered button down shirt (D & Co.) and black leather boots (Jeffery Campbell).

2. Long, black tunic with double side slits (G.I.L.I), and black trainers (Nike).

3. Mock-camo print long tank (LOGO) with faux suede, floral jacket (Tahari) and black suede booties (Vince Camuto).

Side Note: I tried these looks with a different pair of shoes each but that is not part of my packing plan. The plan is to take one pair of brown boots, a pair of black boots, a pair of white trainer, black flats, and a pair of black heels. Five pairs is still a look but I’ll be wearing one pair, and I learned form my online packing classes that underwear can be rolled up and put into your shoes, providing more space. Since I’m taking boots, probably Dr Martens and a pair of booties, hopefully I can roll a t shirt or two in them!

Striped layered button down from D & Co.

Photo Copyright QVC

Long tunic with double side slits from G.I.L.I

Photo Copyright QVC

Logo mock camo long tank

Photo Copyright QVC

Faux suede floral jacket from Tahiri

Photo Copyright Nordstrom

So the moral of the story?

1. Don’t let the wind out of your sails just because no one is on board with your idea!

2. Don’t have a preconceived idea that a garment will not fit into your vacation plans.

3. Always stay flexible in your head about plans that seem to be rock solid. If we’ve learned anything during Covid-19 in 2020 is that anything can happen, and it’s best to make your mind up to go with the flow!

How Does She Do It? Four Tips to Looking Effortless.

We all know that one woman who makes it all look so easy! Her style is impeccable, her makeup is perfect, she always seems calm, cool and collected. She wears white pants year around and you can barely sip your latte without it dribbling down your shirt! Why? How?

First of all, what we aren’t going to do is think that anyone’s life is easy. Repeat after me… it’s not! No ifs, ands, or buts about it! Second, if you admire something about someone else, create that thing for yourself. You want to appear effortless and put together? It’s a piece of cake!

Have a uniform with your favorite colors, styles, and products so you are all ways the best version of yourself!

1. Know your style. We all have our own style. If you aren’t sure what your’s is sift through some fashion magazines at your local book store or better yet; make yourself a Pinterest account, search “style” and any other fashion words you can think of and make a boards of things that speak to you. Then take a look at that board. That’s your style.

2. Own your style. Your style is unique to you. It doesn’t matter who does or doesn’t like it. Own it. Of course you want to be appropriate for events and situations but every style can be adapted to be appropriate for your lifestyle. The key is to be confident in your style.

3. Make a uniform. Don’t get overwhelmed with pieces or prices. Start small. Is there a blouse that just makes you swoon? Get the blouse. A pair of jeans that are the cut that looks best on you? Find those jeans. A cardigan that makes you feel cozy all over? Find one in your price range. Then use it as your uniform. This is your style. Add pieces in colors that are you, or materials you like, but only if you love them and they fit your style. Never purchase anything you wouldn’t include in your Pinterest board. As long as you are staying within your style it will start to feel effortless, hence it will start to appear effortless to others too.

4. Apply steps 1-3 to other things in your life.

Makeup? Same. Learn your skincare and makeup needs. Choose your products and then keep them like a uniform. Extra tip: Find the perfect lipstick that makes you happy and wear it everywhere, all the time. The easiest way to seem put together!

Jewelry? You guessed it! Do the same. I’ve been wearing hoop earrings since the 80’s, and I purchased them in real gold for them to be eternal. One pair I’ve had since 8th grade (true story). I occasionally wear other earrings but I have a large yellow gold pair, and a small yellow gold pair. I have a large white gold pair, a medium white gold, and a small white gold pair. I never have to think about it. I love them. They’re me. They’re my signature! I feel confident in them, confidence contributes to looking effortless.

Hoops are my effortless go-to and part of my daily uniform.

Dinner? Yes, I said dinner. You CAN make dinner effortless! Get your June Cleaver on with a make a meal-a-day plan. Monday is meatless, Tuesdays are tacos, Wednesdays you eat chicken, Thurs… well you get the point. You could even be more specific than the meal type and just make the exact same meal every week on the same day.

Accident prone? Some of us just are, but this is the most simple remedy to keep you looking like it’s never an issue. Tide laundry pens, hand wipes, and a white wash cloths. Keep a little makeup bag with these items in it. The white wash cloth goes under your garment as you tend to the stain on top, it collects any ot the stain that could go through. Get it quick and it’s like it never happened! Do you really think she’s never spills a thing?

Taco Tuesdays don’t even have to be homemade. It’s the benefit of having Tuesday dinners being a no-brainer that will have you feeling like super woman!

So you see where I’m going with this? With just a little effort and planning on the front end, you can literally get some parts of your life down to a science. Will that assure the rest of your life runs like clockwork? Of course not! However, every little bit counts. The confidence you’ll get from being organized this way is priceless and will radiate through your day, the reduction in anxiety will show through. Soon you’ll have them asking, “How does she do it?”

Review of Assets Sculpting Leggings by Spanx

These ponte knit leggings are so good! They’re high waist and come in regular waist too. I’m 5’3” and the length is perfect, but they do come in ankle length. They’re at Target, HERE, and of course since it’s Target you can often find a sale!

It All Comes Around Again - Shop These Bell Bottom Flares

My personal style is eclectic. Part Iris Arpel, part Greenwich Village circa 1988, part high school art teacher, with a little Edna Mode thrown in. So I don’t have to tell you how happy I am that I can grab up some bell bottoms and flares this season. I’m still on the hunt for the wide but straight leg, Levi button fly jeans that I wore to death. They were an old boyfriends and I had cut the legs off to fit me. They were life with shell toe Adidas, pause for a moment of memory… Until I can find something close I’m more than satisfied with this find from Eloquii. I’m still that girl that’s going to where them dusting the ground with my Adidas but I might want to wear them with heels, so I got one to cut and one to keep long. They’re super stretchy and super nostalgic and super me! If they’re you too and you got some curves going on go to www.eloquii.com and search Bell Bottom Flares, they’re currently 40%!

Bell Bottom Flares - With heels

Eloquii’s Bell Bottom Flares - with trainers.

Go Here to shop the jeans

Why Aren't You Doing This For Yourself?

Rachel Zoe - Vintage Boho Style

Photo from Wonderwall.com

If budget and time weren’t a factor what would you say your personal style would be? I’ll help you. Do you have a personal style mirror? A personal style mirror is what I call the person who’s style you best identify with; the perfect way to hone in on your own style.

Tracey Ellis Ross - Boho Street Style

Photo from the Septemberstandard.com

Is it :

Audrey Hepburn? Straight lines, classic feminine (Jackie O fits this mirror too)

Carrie Bradshaw? Fun street style, label maven, whatever is trending

Julia Roberts? Town and Country, no fuss, feminine and functional

Olivia Pope? High style, ultra tailored, sophisticated feminine

Rainbow Johnson/Kryzada Rodriguez? Boho with a Street Style mix

Alicia Keys - Straight Street Style

Kim Kardashian/Jennifer Lopez? Sexy street style (Ferggie would be included in this style)

Rachel Zoe - Vintage Boho

Erykah Badu/ Stevie Knicks - Earthy Boho

Now the next question? Why does budget and time limit you from expressing your style? Could it really be fatigue and stress has worn you down?

Alicia Keys - Street Style

Photo tag: Alicia-Keys-Grazia-France-Nico-06

Our lives are either so fast paced physically, or so loaded up mentally/emotionally, or all of the above, that sometimes style and esthetics doesn’t even make the list. We say things like, “Remember when I used to dress this way? I was so cute!” or even just a wistful, “I love her style!” when seeing someone who’s style rings a chord. That’s your inner style reminding you it’s in there!

Julia Roberts - Town and Country Style

Elle..com Getty Images

Olivia Pope - Sophisticated Style

Photo from HelloGorgeous.com subject to copyright

The 21st century may have more cons than pros but a definite positive is price point is no hindrance of style. You can curate your style at Target and thrift stores as easy as you can boutiques and Nordstroms. Skincare? Skincare is healthcare. I try to get all my clients to include their skincare in their monthly budget. It’s worth canceling one of your streaming subscriptions for, or making coffee at home instead of Starbucks! Makeup is optional but you can buy one lipstick and use it for lips, cheeks and even eyes. No excuses!

I’m just going to say it. You aren’t living your style because you’re tired and worn out. There. I said it. Girl, that may not change. If it doesn’t change are you just going to let life drag you around like a rag doll? No, living your style is not frivolous or superficial. Im not talking about becoming unbalanced and obsessed. I’m talking about showing up to be the best you. I’m talking about seeing someone you went to school with and not hiding because you know you didn’t try this morning. I’m talking not walking past a window and mirror and feeling defeated.

Do this for yourself. Be your style. Convey your style. You have control of how you stand up to the world. If you’re in a business office or taking your mom to the doctor’s office, get dressed and nurture your skin.

Give me three days out of the week. Try expressing your style for 3 days. Showing up with a moisturized face and a tinted gloss or creamy lipstick. See how you feel. I know you’ll love the results!

Cover Photo of Audrey Hepburn 1967 from The Good Films