When We Label We Loose
Living with gratitude and joy is not instantaneous. It’s not something you can master overnight if you can ever indeed master it. It’s an ongoing process that takes deliberate practice daily.It’s something I certainly haven’t mastered but work day after day to maintain and grow. I had lunch with a friend and it was the second time this week someone had said to me something along the lines of I had my stuff together. To me this ranks right up there with the dreaded, “you’re so strong!” comment. Neither are sentiments I stand by or will allow to go unaddressed. For two reasons.
IT’S SIMPLY NOT A TRUE STATEMENT: There is no one who has their stuff together. Fight me. There’s just no way! If one area is together, I can confidently say another area in life is in shambles or at least disheveled a bit. What makes us all the same is we are all human. There is no human who has it all together.
STRENGTH IS RARELY PURE GRIT: I’m strong willed and opinionated but that shouldn’t be confused with with being strong as in, “she can handle anything.” When it comes to crisis or challenges in my life I usually have no other option but to put my head down and walk through the storm. Especially with kids… is there really any other option? My faith and, I believe God, gives me the will to fight when in just isn’t in me. And not to be overlooked is pure stubbornness. Sometimes just being completely stubborn means I’m gonna get it done!
IT ROBS ME OF SUPPORT: Yes we live in a time where we are pretty used to saying ourselves. What is true is that, yes, we need to know ourselves and be responsible for our personal growth. We cannot find happiness in others, it’s an inside job as they say. Still, again going back to the fact that we are all human, we must acknowledge that a life with those who support us and are there for us and empathize with us is a better life than one without. The need for someone to witness and understand our plight and circumstances is fundamental to the human condition. So someone holding on to the idea that I, or anyone, has it all together robs us of the support and understanding that eases the burdens we all carry. If people think we have it all figured out and all together then we get overlooked as the “strong” ones. The word strong, attached by others, can quickly translate to alone for the ones who wear the label.
My gratitude for my family keeps going, and maybe makes it look easier than it really is!
So I say… understand that my Instagram does not make up a complete picture of my life. The days I don’t post are often days I am completely overwhelmed, or battling health issues of my own or someone in my family. Understand that when I post about gratitude and joy it’s just as much a post to myself because I need to remind me of the keys to happiness. I post and express myself because if I kept it all in I would explode, not because I have it all figured out. I share because there’s a tribe of a few who are living with similar battles and struggles but still want to make the most of their lives. If you are reading this, chances are we have an interchange of support and for that I thank you. And to all I say, support your tribe, including the ones who “seem” to have it all together.