There's a Huge Elephant in the Room, and It's Holding a Toothbrush!
This is not an endorsement for any dental product or practice.
If you follow me on social media you have seen the center of my world, my children. At 40 I found out I was pregnant with our fourth child, surprise! We call him our surprise baby and not our oops! baby because he truly was, and is a gift. 4 years of wonder and joy. If you look at all the pics I have posted of my 4 year old wonder you will see he has a tooth missing. His left incisor is gone and his right incisor looks a bit wonky. No, he didn’t loose the tooth, we had to have it pulled at the age of 2. Totally traumatic as parents! I try to avoid a conversation about it because there is some educated-first-world-mom-guilt that comes along with it.
The left incisor was extracted. The right incisor was saved but not without a little damage.
What Went Wrong?
Why the need to pull the tooth? It’s because of something called “bottle rot,” which is simply baby tooth decay. It was something I had heard about but never thought would ever be an issue with any of my children, and it wasn’t, until my youngest came along. According to The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research, “Overall dental caries (decay) in the baby teeth of children 2 to 11 declined from the early 1970s until the mid 1990s. From the mid 1990s until the most recent (1999-2004) National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, this trend has reversed: a small but significant increase in primary decay was found. This trend reversal was more severe in younger children.” I thought maybe it was due to always using bottled water and not water with fluoride, but I read that fluoride treated water in fact does not reduce the instances of early childhood tooth decay. As a mom with (a different) child with severe food allergies I am keenly aware of all the hidden ingredients in food, I suspect the root of the increase in early childhood tooth decay is hidden sugars.
I can only speak to our experience and the facts that I believe contributed to my little guy’s tooth decay.
He was the only one of my 4 children that was bottle fed from the early months. My first three children were breast-fed then weaned to a cup. If they had a bottle after weaning it only contained water. Because of health issues my youngest was bottle fed formula from 3 months on. Without this post turning into a post about sugars in baby formula, I will say I was ever conscious of this fact and always included more water in the formula and never put the baby to bed with a bottle of full strength formula.
I kid you not, this little boy was born with swollen gums! His teeth came in sooner than any of my other children. Literally by 4 months his tooth was crowning. Not only was he an early teether, his incisor came in first which was a bit odd, since the front teeth are usually the first. So though it was a surprise we were starting to have trouble with his teeth, we weren’t surprised it was the left incisor, the first tooth that came in, or the right incisor which came in simultaneously with the front teeth.
Though my other children didn’t have issues with bottle rot, two have always had to have their teeth coated with a sealant as the dentists have always said they have soft enamel and possibly over acidic oral environments. We were told the same thing with the little guy.
We were in family crisis when the youngest turned one year old. It was then my husband was diagnosed with brain cancer and began surgeries and treatments. What does that have to do with the little guy’s teeth? Only the fact that by then we knew we were really in a battle to keep his incisor from decaying and were brushing his teeth more than twice a day and absolutely no formula while laying down. Then once my husband was spending considerable amounts of time in the hospital and we were leaving the baby with family, his delicate dental health really was pushed down the list. I do believe this is what put the nail in the incisor coffin, the easing up on Operation Save The Tooth, during our family emergency.
So as you can see, I’m no doctor or health professional but it doesn’t take a genius to see all these factors working together were in fact working against us.
I don’t think his dental issues have effected his cuteness level!
So, What Did We Do?
When it became apparent these teeth were really in jeopardy we consulted with a pediatric dentist and surgeon that specializes in early child tooth decay. At that point the little guy wasn’t even 2 yet. The surgeon agreed we would stay the course for as long as possible or until the baby turned 2 years old. We were able to hold off until 2. By this time my husband was home and I was able to resume the crazy brushing schedule and tight reign on his dental health at home. At age 2 you could tell there was no more active decaying. There was small indents in both of his two front teeth; these along with discoloration of the incisors had grown out. Meaning there was healthy tooth at the root (except that first incisor) and then these defects were further down. We allowed him to have a dental procedure preformed by this pediatric surgeon (who was highly recommended and was the surgeon for our dentist’s and hygienist’s children). They were able to put composite on the two front teeth, and cap both incisors. It was a very serious and hard decision to make to let the baby under go this procedure. Faced with the possibility of him needing his teeth pulled, it seemed like the best option. When the caps came off, less than two weeks later we had a host of emotions, including the guilt of choosing the general anesthetic and then it not even working. Upon going back we were never able to get the surgeon we had originally and did not have faith in the other professionals we saw in the practice. We felt lost but we knew there was no way were going to let him be put under again. We go back and do more research and thank goodness for internet reviews! We found an office in South Philly that patients were raving about. We took our little guy there not knowing who else to turn to. The dentist there agreed that by this time that incisor that was the first to come in was just to worn away and decayed to keep, and that extraction would be best. They allowed us to be in the room while they did the procedure, which was a must for me. The good news is that with regular visits and our vigorous home routine we’ve been able to keep the other incisor in tact, even though it looks a little worse for wear.
Stigma
So that’s our dental story! Is there any other cosmetic way of sizing up someone more powerful than assessing their dental health and teeth in their mouth? Missing, or rotting teeth is not only taken as a sign of questionable hygiene but also of income. After all, good teeth mean regular dental visits, regular dental visits mean good dental insurance, good dental insurance means a good job. And what kind of parent lets their child’s teeth rot? I instantly thought of the piece Diane Sawyer did about the forgotten children of the Appalachian Mountains that had soda in their bottles and sippy cups. How could this happen? We weren’t “those kind” of people!
My little puddin’ pop growing up! If you ask him where his tooth is he says, “I lost it!”
Well this subject, as with many others, forces you to come face to face with your biases, fears, and insecurities. The fact was we were the best parents we could be and circumstances were what they were. Now when I see children with dental issues I don’t form an opinion because I know the story may not be the one we automatically assume, like I used to. Apparently there’s nothing like a little tooth decay to knock you off a high horse!
So yes, my gorgeous, funny, wonderful boy is missing a tooth. And yes, I’m waiting patiently for his big boy teeth to come in, but until then he is no less beautiful to me. I’m still working on being okay with the stigma so if you approach the subject with me sideways, I may still come at you! Just saying. #nooneisperfect
What Should You Do?
So what would my suggestions to you be in regards to this whole subject?
From the beginning, if you are bottle feeding, be very conscious about formula being in the baby’s mouth when they’re resting. Delta Dental has this posted on their website,
“To incorporate these changes:
Gradually dilute the bottle contents with water over a period of two to three weeks.
Once that period is over, if you give a child a bottle, fill it with water or give the child a clean pacifier recommended by a dentist. The only safe liquid to put in a bottle to prevent baby bottle tooth decay is water.
Decrease consumption of sugar, especially between meals.
Children should be weaned from the bottle as soon as they can drink from a cup, but the bottle should not be taken away too soon, since the sucking motion aids in the development of facial muscles, as well as the tongue.”
We did incorporate these steps with my little guy and all I can think is that his decay would have been even worse if we had not.
Brush those little teeth as soon as they start coming in. I’m not sure where I personally stand on the subject of fluoride and currently am following the suggestions of our pediatric dentist. I can’t in good conscious speak on adding fluoride as soon as teeth crown because of articles like the ones on the Fluoride Action Network. One of their articles posted says this;
”Ingesting toothpaste during childhood is a major risk factor for dental fluorosis, and can also cause symptoms of acute fluoride toxicity (e.g., stomach pain, etc).
The FDA now requires a poison warning on all fluoride toothpastes sold in the U.S.”
As a parent and educated consumer you will have to do due diligence and come to a decision about how you feel about fluoride and your children.
If decay becomes an issue, research your pediatric dentist and specialist/surgeon. If you have any questions or concerns whatsoever and they aren’t addressed, find another dental professional.
Choose a pediatric dental practice and/or surgeon who’s first priority is to save the tooth. A rush to extraction, in my opinion, is not a good sign. You want extraction to be the last straw after all other options are exhausted.
If your baby must have a tooth extracted and you’ve done all you can, don’t beat yourself up about it. Ultimately the extraction is a sign that you took the necessary steps to keep your child healthy. These things happen, and as noted above it is even on the rise. Knowledge is power. If it’s happened to you, you are now in the position to help other moms with your experience.
We found a great pediatric dental team we love! No this is not a paid advertisement!
Generation Messed Up?
Me with my daughter, having a cherished moment.
Recently I had a discussion with someone about how we were able to raise our children to be more emotional, self-aware, and conscious of learning who they are. As this generation started to become more open (generally of course, no generation fits into one box) social media made them more isolated, and verbally challenged, even sedentary.
So what that means is we have given a generation a gift of expression, or at least the ability to be emotionally aware and then took away the healthiest way to exercise emotions;
1. Clear human to human, in person dialogue that engages social cues, and visual recognition of emotions produces empathy.
2. Becoming part of a physical, not virtual, community where caring and helping others helps themselves
3. Getting physical exercise which benefits emotional and mental health.
Of course there are more and more learning that you can combine personal physicality, with technology to produce an emotional consciousness that can reach more people than ever. Is that the case with all of the younger generations though, those after the millennials? Suicide is at an all time high, along with anxiety, and depression. These young people need genuine human connections and physical exercise and experiences like never before.
My middle son, Aaron, and his friends make time to spend with the family! My youngest gets to benefit from having his older siblings around, and my husband and I get time to connect with the next generation. This really is an exceptional group!
What Advice Do You Give?
Nothing helps you get through the work week like being in the career you want to be in and doing the job you want to do. What advice did you give your children about a career?
Future chef or food critic…
Here are 3 things I told/tell/will tell mine. I say it that way because they are all at completely different stages in life; ages 27,20,16,and 4!
1. Don’t measure your success in life by dollars. Love, kindness, generosity, humility are the measures of a man/woman. This is truly what I believe in my core. I know this to be true, and I have moments when I’m in room full of people that are all about the dollar, and about pushing their children to be something “great.” I don’t care. I know this to be true; career success can bring joy and the means to experience life in a way not open to everyone, but it will never bring peace to your soul. However, show me a person that lives to cultivate the inner person and I will show you a person content in every situation, and valued by others, and a person at peace with themselves.
Never stop playing the instrument you played as a child/teen. Not only will it continue to be a relaxing hobby, you could give music lessons if you find yourself in need of extra income or even in the middle of a lay-off.
2. Do what you love. If you love something that doesn’t seem to have a career connected to it, create your own way. I have friends that debate this point with me. Their thought is who cares what you like to do, do what you have to do. There are times when circumstances of life make this true. If as a young person you can get on the path of doing what you love, before huge responsibilities and life firmly take hold, I say don’t pass up the opportunity. Doing what you love contributes to a sense of peace and well being. The negativity that can come from being somewhere you don’t want to be, doing what you don’t want to do can literally become so stressful and depressing it shortens your life!
3. Do more than one thing:
A. Be aware of every avenue that could branch off from your discipline. There may be changes in your life where you want to stay in your field but in another capacity.
B. If there aren’t alternate avenues of your chosen field, educate yourself another field that interests you. Never have just one talent, one interest, or one job. Don’t box yourself in, the days of working for a company for 30 years has passed. You have to have the fortitude to be fluid career-wise.
C. Regardless of what career you choose; always be able to create income entrepreneurially (I did look that up, it is a word!) This cannot be overlooked. There is not job security in this world anymore. The only way to guarantee you can always support your family and yourself, is to be able to pull yourself up and create your own opportunity.
If he ever finds himself out of a job as a dinosaur, his inner sense of wonder and humor can lead him to a job as a … well now, we’ll have to think about this one!