The Best Gift Ever - My Late In Life Baby

The last 2 weeks of the year always puts the family and me in a tailspin. With vacation days from work and school the house is full of people coming and going. Now that we can resume our regular schedule I’m left a little dazed. I’m beginning this new year in the best way I know how; by searching my heart and mind and bringing gratitude to the fore. Forget that the words mindfulness, intention, self-care etc., have been hijacked by the advertisers and marketers as buzz words to sell more stuff - sitting in a quiet place and recounting gratitude is one of the healthiest exercises you can do.

This morning I laid in bed and gave thanks for my soon-to-be 5 year old son. My gratitude for him is unique for a few reasons. I’m hoping you can relate to my feelings in some way:

1. I found out I was pregnant with him after 2 years of cancer struggle with both my parents. When faced with death, the gift of life is like a soothing balm and welcomed ray of sunshine. Anticipation of a new life was therapeutic for the whole family.

2. He was born in 2015 and my husband was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2016. We had to make an important decision about fertility before he underwent chemo and radiation. I know that had we not had the baby we still would have decided we were done having children and wouldn’t have made a back up plan. Had that been the case we definitely could have lived with that decision, but, we know now that we would’ve missed out on so much.

3. I know women have children at all ages now, but for me personally 41 was late in life for having another child. My children were 24, 17, and 12. They were in all different directions as far as what they were doing in life. I was doing full-time volunteer work, helping my parents who were ill, working, traveling for work, and homeschooling my daughter. I was overextended. My family was going in all different directions. And I wasn’t conscious of it. I felt like they were capable of more independence than they really were. Yes, they were getting older; but they still needed the stability of coming together regularly at home. We weren’t even having a family dinner once a week. With everyone on different schedules the kids never communicated with each other. Even my husband and I were on totally different schedules. The baby was a huge stop sign for us all. Everyone seemed to be reminded of family when he came along. He was an umbrella that drew us all into the same space that made each one of us stop and feel love. While he was attaching himself to our hearts, he tied us all together again. We looked at each other more. I say the mother sets the tone and in reality I was stopped dead in my tracks. Even the postpartum depression created a bond from everyone chipping in to help with this new situation.

The kids are all 5 years older now and still blazing their own trails in this world. I think what has remained constant since the little one was born is me. I now try to be consistent in setting a united tone. My surprise baby is my constant reminder that what is most important is in this house. My family. I have the ability to make sure we come together regularly, that we check in on each other, to remind us all that family comes first. So I’m grateful. We needed our sweet little boy more than we ever knew. And he’s the gift that keeps on giving, the constant, walking reminder of love and family.